Decisions,Teen Years and Beyond

As I age, and I will admit it, I’m 53, I find myself realizing, over the past several years I have based most of my decisions on how it will affect those around me.  My thought process consisted of; Will that work with  the girls schedule?  Will Paul want to do this?  Does that work with the budget?  And any other varied questions that might fit with the scenario.  Very rarely did the idea even occur to me to think about my feelings and how the decision would affect me.   But with age, it is said, comes wisdom, and I have been discovering some wisdom of my own. Starting with, instead of considering other’s feelings first I have been working on discovering what I want.

This is new to me as a parent, it may even be a first for me as an adult.  I’m pretty sure at one point I did make decisions based on only myself, but that would have been in my teen years.  I still recall my mother saying, “life is a two-way street.”  Meaning, I needed to change the habit of only worrying about myself and realize others walked this earth.  I fear, I may have heeded that warning too well and went far overboard the other way.  Thus, at the age of 53, I have devised my new decision making concept.  It will work something along these lines.

I will decide what works for me, how that fits into the plans of those around me, and make a concerted effort to have everyone be happy.  But, if that doesn’t work, chances are, I will decide to first make myself happy.

The decisions may be small.  As in, I will eat the last piece of pie and not save it for whoever else may want it.  I won’t cook dinner tonight, even though I have the ingredients, because I am just too tired and the  budget be damned.  On going out, I will pick and stick to the restaurant I want, because that is important to me.

I feel these small decisions will help empower me to make bigger decisions.  I may take more vacations to visit my sisters.  Or, realize my dream of 27 years and finally get a screened-in-porch put on my house.  In general I plan to be just a little more self-absorbed.  I think, in the end, this will make me a happier person. And, I hope, since I am happy, those around me will be too.


4 thoughts on “Decisions,Teen Years and Beyond

  1. Amen Sistuh! I too am gaining this wisdom. It has occurred to me how strange it is that I always think of what everyone else would want and never ask myself what I would like to do today. I think that is why I have fond memories of my college days when I only thought of myself and my schedule. Now that the empty nest days are nearer, I realize that I need to begin to do what makes me excited and happy!

  2. Becoming a parent, I believe it is only natural that we as mother’s put ourselves last. It is good wisdom to share with our children that it is always ok to be a little selfish but also consider other’s feelings. It is hard to change from putting others first to putting ourselves first. I too am learning.

  3. When Richie and I became empty nesters we also had this revelation and I think I can safely say our girls were surprised with some of the choices we made. My reply to them was as they had gone through a brief selfish period it was now our turn to go through our own selfish time. Lol maybe not so briefly.

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