I pray because I believe in prayer. But, last night I wondered. What kind of prayers do I believe in? I certainly don’t believe that God spares certain people because one has a better prayer chain then the other. After all, life is not the ultimate American Idol. Everyday I am surrounded by sad events changing people’s lives. I know that even those who die had some one praying for them to live. But, people die anyway. Why? Of course I don’t know the answer, nor, I think does anyone.
So last night I decided my prayers need to focus more for help or guidance. When my mother was ill, just before she died. I asked God and my angels to guide me through this end of her life. Because I knew it was time for her to go. I asked them to help me understand what decisions I should make and to let me know what I could and could not control. Trust me, letting myself realize I’m not always in control, that is big. It worked for me to let myself be guided. It wasn’t “just throw up my arms and let things happen”, it was a feeling of peace, knowing that any decision I did have to make I would find help making it.
As I approach new conflicts and decisions in my life I intend to ask for guidance. Then, take a deep breath and wait for help in getting through this rough patch in my life.