Snow Fall Reflections

One of my favorite things: watching snow fall.
So here I am alone and quite honestly, enjoying the time. My companions are a glass of red wine, cheese and crackers, piano music and snow falling on the Adirondacks. I use to be afraid of being alone. After all, I grew up in a large family. I think I’ve actually only had a bedroom to myself my senior year in college. Doing activities and making decisions on my own has been a gradual awakening. Now, there are times I can spend hours writing at my computer and not notice I am alone.
Still, I realize that this is the eve of the anniversary of my mother’s rapid decline into her passing. It will be one year ago tomorrow that I got the call she was not doing well. Then, less than 48 hours later she was dead.
It is hard to say what I miss about my mother. Certainly not the last six years of her life when she slid into dementia. It is not a friendship, we never really had that. But, I think I miss knowing she was there. Comforted by the fact I could call for advice, laugh with her when we watched David Letterman together. I miss her presence in my life.
It is in this grieving moment that I sit in my beloved Adirondacks in a house I rented with the gift of a small inheritance I received from parents who somehow managed to put money aside and still raise seven children. I sit here watching the snow fall and thank Mom and Dad for this small gift that means so much to me.

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5 thoughts on “Snow Fall Reflections

  1. Mom and Dad would be so happy on how you used some of the money they left us. Thinking of you during this time and wishing you peace and time to remember the happy times! Love you dear sistuh!

    Rocky

  2. Be at peace, dear sister, knowing that you were there for Mom during her last difficult days on Earth. Thank you for taking care of her and being her voice and support. Rest in solitude and rejoice with your friends in celebration when they arrive. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Love, Rhonda

  3. Posey – this is lovely, and a sentiment I can relate to. A dear friend of my Mom’s once told me that when your mother passes away, it will leave a hole in your heart that will never heal. And he was right. But that hole is there because you loved each other – bask in that!

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